Buttface

My sister is back at my parents' house being a mooch and feeding the cats. So, when the parents got here, Dad called. I heard him leave a message on the house phone and say he'd call her cell. That was, oh, at least an hour ago.

I went to deal with the kids in bed and came down the hall to hear Dad on the phone, with the volume up high enough that I could hear the other end ringing. My sister didn't answer, he left a message. Then his phone rang.

I don't know what she said, but his answer was, "Well were you on the toilet the first two times I called, BUTTFACE?" I guarantee you that she used the term first....

***

AND IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH, then Dad puts her on the phone with Mom. Mom says, among other things, "Well you know how Dad gets. If you don't answer the phone, he thinks someone has murdered you and kidnapped the cats to take them to Mexico to turn them into burr-eee-tooos."

The conversation, if you can call it that, was another 5 minutes of my sister bitching about being called on the phone at all.