w-t-f, w-h-o c-a-r-e-s

The four year old is playing on the laptop, doing quite a good job at using the mouse and arrow keys and whatnot. There's some kind of game where you choose a person... character... thing and play. 

Mom walks over and says in a low voice, "I *thought* he was going to pick the b-l-a-c-k f-e-m-a-l-e character, but he ended up picking the boy with blonde hair."

I said, "Oh it doesn't matter, it's a game, let him choose whatever he wants! He's USING A MOUSE."

Mom replies, "Well I just thought maybe he was confused....."

WTF.

Fox Blocked

Dad is trying desperately to get to his favorite news source via the browser on his iphone, but an ad for Glad trash bags keeps popping up or is the destination of a redirection. He's really frustrated by it and can't make it stop doing that or go away or get to the actual webpage.

I'm not offering to help.

.... and she DIED

Yes, I just heard the Seinfeld envelope glue poisoning story as a cautionary tale that Mom just told the 6 year old. GREAT JOB GRANDMA.

Also, we all went for a walk earlier. Did you all know that the reason pedestrians walk facing traffic isn't to increase visibility for everyone involved, oh no. It's for the somewhat related but decidedly insane reason that the driver of the car MIGHT FALL ASLEEP AND SWERVE INTO YOU.

I heard this story and yelled ahead, "When he has nightmares I'm sending him to you!!"

Milkin dew

The milk has arrived. In a mountain dew bottle.  Because it seals it! And it would go bad at home!

Toys for the car

Nothing quite like a 35 year old (that's older than their oldest child), used, "Magic Slate". Also starring some care bear versions that were likely birthday party favors circa 1985, french toast sticks on wheels, and a garage sale yo-yo I had the audacity to leave behind when I moved out. Oh, and a Toy Story kids meal toy still in the wrapper.  Yep, original.

Okay. So this is an improvement on the box of opened and water-damaged twenty year old feminine products. I guess.

This means war

Mom dumped out my coffee mug. There's no more coffee. I wasn't finished. WTF.

that's MY lettuce

We're at a beach house, and for one night's dinner my mom chose to prepare a stouffer's lasagna. Ok, not exactly the greatest food on earth but I've had worse. I suggest we pick up a bag of salad to go with it. My dad and sister return from the grocery with a bag of iceburg and carrot slivers and a bag of just romaine lettuce. The romaine, I learned, was what my sister demanded be bought for her consumption. This was on Tuesday evening, when we have to check out by 10am Thursday.

Okay. Fine.

My sister even *graciously* allowed us some of her lettuce. I'm unsure why the rest of us got the iceberg anyway, but whatever.

When the meal was over, my sister - who had the same salad as the rest of us, mostly iceburg - left two lovely romaine lettuce leaves in her bowl. So after pitching a fit to get her OWN lettuce, she didn't even eat it

Cars

So last night I was asking my dad about a funny internet picture of a speedometer that someone had pasted a sign that said NO! over everything over 65mph. It looked familiar and I thought maybe Dad could identify it. He said it did look familiar,  but the government has so many rules about what has to be there that speedometers all look alike.

Husband cracks, "Well to be fair, to the car we all look alike." Everybody laughs.

Dad tries to keep up, "Yeah, you know how you tell two Chinamen apart? You can't."

I said, "Yeah, see, that's racist. He was funny, that was racist."

Mom, out of nowhere, comments on the nascar race on tv. "Oh, look at that engine! "

Family Reunion

My little family has traveled for two days to get to a reunion of sorts. Then we're going to a rented beach house with Mom, Dad, and The Sister. Should make for some interesting reports!